let's start with a metaphor, shall we?: HEARTY

If you're a person singular and playing the dating game, then the hilarity of the illustration above may hit a little close to home, and not in a humorous way. You know what's out there and what your up against. Why it's a great big world full of damaged goods who are in varying degrees of dysfunction- just like you! Weird kissers being just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, the landscape of love can be a tricky one to navigate- if you're even inclined to try the slope. Not so incidentally, candy hearts are horrible tasting and come in dreadful pastel colors. Crunch on that!
I digress...

I recently had a marathon phone conversation with a friend who's ending a 2 year relationship. I could so feel her pain and heartache, having been on both sides of the separation equation. More times than I ever guessed I would be, trust. Back to said friend. She lamented that he was this, he was that, but mostly he was not the person she thought he was. In the end she decided he wasn't evil per say, but he wasn't the one and it was over and out. As in "You can leave the runway now."

She mentioned several times that she felt she had completely wasted the two years she had spent with him. After an hour (and a nearly dead battery) of crisis counseling I finally asked her "Well did you love him or not?" She said "Of course I did." Then I asked "Do you believe he loved you?" She paused for a thoughtful moment and responded "I believe he did, yes." Well then. How could it have been a waste?

Love is supposed to be a gift, but it isn't always. Occasionally its unhealthy, and you must extract yourself. Personally, there were a couple of relationships I let linger a little too long. A couple of others were perhaps cut loose a little too quickly. But here's the bottom line. If you've decided to give the gift, then that's what it is.

Gifts, especially ones from the heart are supposed to be non returnable. And vice versa. Its bad form to return a gift, or worse ask for one back. Often in the case of romance, one person loves the other a little more. Sometimes allot. If fair reciprocity feels like an issue, then a measure of balance should be taken. But remember love, like any gift, should never be given expecting anything in return. If it comes with conditions then its not really a gift, is it?

If you've ever had your heart broken then that's some pretty hard candy to chew on and digest.

Much like a candy heart.

How do you determine who's worthy of your gifts? If you're not one of the 1.3 % of the world's population that happily married their high school sweetheart and stayed that way (happy, that is) then hopefully you've ascertained through a series of relationships that didn't work out (I abhor the word failure) what kind of person compliments yourself best...and you aren't trifling with others just for the sake of being relationship. C'mon now, its 2012.

So how do we spend our love while not pursuing romance? I mean, we don't just stop being loving creatures. Hopefully not anyway. Well you could save it for a rainy day, but I say spend it on yourself- and you'll never run out. And for goodness sake take a look at your own dysfunction and see how you can work on being a better you. A better you will attract a better someone else. I guess that's what I'm hoping for too, while I'm taking this time to work on me.

Indeed this Valentines day finds me squarely single, and that's quite alright. I have 23 jobs and I'm working on launching an international media sensation. This doesn't allow much time for fostering romance. Relationships done well require an investment of time and patience, in addition to love. However I hope to not always be so busy. After all I am Michael, and I am a lover.... and I'm certain there's one more great romance left in me. When the time is right and the pendulum swings my way again, I will likely grab hold without fear and enjoy the ride. Like I've said before, the heart isn't nearly as fragile as the ego would lead you to believe.

Besides. Love can never be wasted. It isn't even possible.